hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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