I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
