Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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