You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
