If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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