I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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