We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
