all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
