think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
