I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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