1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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