You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
