my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
