Need sex. Gaining weight.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
