i just sent this text using only my big toe
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
