We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize