ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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