so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
