How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
