I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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