JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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