i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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