I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
