The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
