My room smells like vodka and shame
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
