i would punch a child for taco bell
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
