gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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