Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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