I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
