and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
