So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
