He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
