This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
