I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
