It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
