I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
