Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
