I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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