your room smells of hookers.
And success
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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