I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
