OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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