and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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