We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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