now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
