so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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