Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
