im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
dude. I can hear the air.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
