you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
