Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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