Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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