She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
