Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
