There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
