i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
