drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize