no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
