how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
