Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize