i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
