I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
